What Being the Only Woman in the Room Taught Me

For much of my career, I was one of the few women in the room.

Sometimes I was the only one.

At first, I thought that meant I needed to work harder to prove I belonged.

When I first began attending athletic director meetings, leadership conferences, and committee gatherings more than 30 years ago, I quickly noticed there weren't many women there. Most of the people in those rooms were men. Many became mentors, colleagues, and friends who supported me throughout my career. But there is still a unique feeling that comes from walking into a room and immediately realizing that nobody there looks like you.

Like many women, I spent a lot of time wondering if I belonged. I worried about saying the wrong thing. I questioned whether my ideas were good enough. I paid close attention to what others said and did, trying to figure out how I fit into spaces where women were often underrepresented.

At the time, I believed confidence was something you had before you spoke up.

I eventually learned that confidence doesn't work that way.

Confidence comes after courage.

Some of the most important moments of my career happened when I spoke up despite being nervous. They happened when I asked a question others were hesitant to ask. They happened when I volunteered for leadership opportunities before I felt completely ready. They happened when I stopped waiting for permission and started trusting that my perspective had value.

Over time, I realized that leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about showing up. It's about contributing. It's about being willing to offer your perspective, even when it differs from everyone else's. Leadership is less about certainty and more about the willingness to engage, learn, and grow.

What surprised me most was that being one of the only women in the room eventually became one of my greatest strengths. It allowed me to see things differently. It helped me recognize voices that weren't being heard. It reminded me that organizations make better decisions when diverse perspectives are included in the conversation.

As my career progressed, my focus began to shift. I stopped worrying so much about whether I belonged in the room.

Instead, I started asking a different question.

Who else deserves to be here?

That question changed everything.

It influenced how I mentor emerging leaders. It shaped my involvement in professional organizations. It guided the way I approached leadership opportunities. Ultimately, it led me to create the Global Community of Women in High School Sports.

Because leadership isn't just about earning a seat at the table.

It's about pulling up additional chairs.

Too often, leadership is viewed as an individual achievement. We celebrate the person who breaks through barriers, earns the promotion, or reaches the top. Those accomplishments matter. But lasting leadership is about more than personal success. It is about creating opportunities for others. It is about helping someone else find the confidence to speak, lead, and contribute.

Today, when I walk into a room where women are still underrepresented, I no longer see it as a reason to stay quiet. I see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to contribute. An opportunity to encourage. An opportunity to advocate. An opportunity to make the path a little easier for the woman who walks through the door next.

Being the only woman in the room taught me many lessons, but perhaps the most important lesson was this:

You do not need permission to belong.

Your voice matters.

Your perspective matters.

And sometimes the very thing that makes you different is the thing that makes your leadership most valuable.

The goal was never simply to earn a seat at the table.

The goal is to make sure there is room for others to join us there.

Because when one woman finds her voice, she creates space for others to find theirs.